myriad worlds

Well …….this is probably my last post from Bouddha, I spread my wings and fly back home tomorrow….the forecast for home is snow on saturday…..snow is auspicious in Tibet I believe. That is assuming the ‘troubles’ do not impact here. There is still fighting and killing along the borders, petrol rationing, a shortage of cooking fuel and drinking water in some areas and powercuts here everyday

It is warm again today after some more rain, the dusty lanes around the stupa are treacherous in places. I am doing some shopping, taking some photo’s and of course saying farewell to friends…….many of whom I will not meet again in this life. Perhaps the next as the connections made here are powerful. Earlier I met Ringu Tulku on the way to the stupa….a wonderful suprise and a perfect closing of this pilgrimage ‘circle’ as he smiled and shook my hand. I have mentioned his kindness but I also feel that he is absolutely ‘authentic’ in everything he does………this is rare in this world………….do you know what I mean.

I have made many good friends here, it is like that when you are travelling. Old tibetans who smile as we communicate without language, Dharma pals and stupa folk ………… the kora continues and the old dog still wastes his life ‘eating, sleeping and pottering around!’

Tomorrow I will walk, perhaps for the last time (Impermanence is a definate teaching here!) through beautiful Shechen monastary as the uniformed guard says “namaste sir”, past the eight stupas and prayer wheels and onto the waste area where the men piss against the wall, women sleep rough in piles of rubbish and children beg. Past the man with leprosy….the beggar in saffron robes….the man laying on the ground with tube from his navel to a medical bag, staring vacantly into space….the nepali punks playing hip hop……the butchers stall with flyblown hunks of meat. Ahead is the golden crown of the stupa and the hum……the hum of devotion and I will step into the fast flowing river of ‘pilgrims’ for the last time……………………….terry

The other night I sat around the big table in the Regency chatting to some folk about the ‘troubles’ on the borders. Some had got through without any problems but others had not been so lucky. One woman had been stuck for four days only to have the bus wrecked . The horse and cart she hired was vandalised and she ended up abandoning her luggage and walking 22kms with the other passengers! There is a fuel shortage and huge queues of taxis and motorcycles, some waiting 24 hours!!

Yesterday we went by taxi to Namobuddha, a very sacred pilgrimage site in the forest just over the valley rim. It is where, in a previous life, the Buddha ( then a prince) gave his body to a tigress and her starving cubs. It was great to get out of the valley smog and see fields and trees. Alas no mountains as it was very misty, however this created a lovely atmosphere. Something like a chinese painting….reminded me of Bettws y Coed back home. The last part of the journey was along a dirt track that Kieran and walked seven years ago.

We first went to Thrangu Rinpoches gompa which runs along a ridge high above the valley. Apart from the monks we were the only folk there and we were welcomed with a cup of tibetan butter tea…..definately an aquired taste!!! We sat and talked on a terrace as the mist swirled through the tree below. Later one of the monks told me that it was still very dangerous here due to the maoists. Lots of birds and there is the occassional leopard. There was lots of beautiful tibetan buildings being built as the Bouddha monastary is being moved here. Prayer flags everywhere, butterlamps offered and the site of the offering by the prince. If I ever come back to nepal I will stay here for a while but even more dangerous than the maoists is the likelyhood that I would never leave!

Our friendly taxi driver drove us down to the stupa where the princes remains are held. A small stupa surrounded by some old buildings and a very old shrine. We had some dhal bhat at one of the simple tea houses, food cooked on a clay stove, the driver thoughtfuly brought us a fork and spoon which he wiped with his hands! You enter the area from the forest through an arch ,friendly dogs and beautiful children play and there is a extremely beautiful buddha enshirined in the stupa surrounded by offerings, butter lamps, huge bells , all very ancient and well used. In a land where evermore huge buddhas are being built this proved the point that ‘small is beautiful’. All around was forest with views down to the small farms in the valley below.

One of the amusing things here is thes spellings etc. on menus and signs, you could write a book about it. As we drove through the forest we saw signs for the Namobuddha Motel! It turned out to be a teahouse by the stupa inaccessible to cars except perhaps a 4×4! A notice said ‘please do not smok’.

We drove back down the forest track pasing small homesteads, lots of goats, people comming and going and onto the main road that leads to Tibet some 80kms north. Numerous army check points, soldiers carrying guns and sandbag defences ……… the mist did not lift so no views of the mountains and it looks unlikely that I will see them now, only a brief glimpse as we drove up from India. As I have mentioned before it was my dream to end the pilgrimage looking towards Tibet and Milarepa’s land….perhaps it means that I will have to return! That the pilgrimage will not end! I now think that it is like the proverbial ‘dust on the mirror’ obscuring the truth…….it is not where Milarepa lived that is importent but the realization of his ‘mind…..encountering my ‘true face’ if that does not sound to pretentious.

Last night when I passed the stupa on the way to the Regency I saw old Choetar-la and the tiny handicapped boy in his bamboo zimmer frame doing the kora together , all smiles despite the obvious suffering…….two generations…..it brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. The boy never asks me for money but apparently supports his entire family on what he is given , a huge burden for a eight year old!

Jules tells me that Choetar-la is ” a beacon of perseverance in the eye of tremendous suffering. In spite of his constant pains because of a joint deforming illness he walks his rounds. With crutch, stick and beaning smile he would slowly do the kora. Jules quotes Choetar-la…..”This illness is my luck, it brought me here. Easy and hard are in the mind, it is neither easy or difficult. There is no difference…..” I first saw Choetar-la as I was leaving the Peace Restaurant, he was climbing the damp, dark stairs to where he lived with unbelievable difficulty.

So another day here, three to go and then I will have to leave….it is going to be hard.

terry

So…….full moon at the stupa was very interesting. I usually avoid talking like this but the energy was very strong….. a great flood of folk now all mixed up with the tourists…..beggars…touts and shops playing music and selling the Dharma……all swept along in this great torrent of devotional energy. I spent the day in the stupa attempting to practice and doing the kora….an old man sits beside me and listens to my mumbling and then a great beaming smile of approval and a thumbs up as he gently touches my leg on leaving. On the way the lama from the kagyu gompa calls out “hello” from a shop just as another in a dust mask walks towards me with outstretched hand….it is my teacher Ringu Tulku with his family heading for the kora. I thought he was in Sikhim! Full moon……..

On the way back from the Regency ( more cheap good food!!) there was a crowd around the Ajima shrine on the edge of the stupa. Ajima is one of the terrible Newar mother goddesses. All week there has been tsok (offering) puja here with a huge mound of rice covered with cakes, sweets etc., this is then given away. Tonight the shrine is open revealling the silver image of Ajima and in front is a pallequin being decorated with katas flowers and branches etc. Musicians arrive from several directions with drums, horns etc. The music is chaotic and to me, unsettling, groups of young men start pushing and shoving and things work up into a fenzy. Men carrying torches, incence burners and colourful banners etc. arrive…the image goes to the pallequin which is carried away.The all seeing eyes of the stupa looks on….. A young Nepali woman explains that it is a Newari festival but I leave as I don’t feel comfortable and it seems to conflict with my sense of a deep peace that normally pervades here.

I walk back up the dark dusty lanes to the Dragon and the gate is opened by the young man who seems to have several roles here. In the evening he wears a security uniform with cap and badge and I jokingly salute him. He shows me a picture in his magazine of a indian man hanging out of a giant alligators jaws, another of the man covered in blood and wounds…..it somehow seems in keeping with the evenings events. I had a disturbed sleep that night.

The next day the weather changed, it had rained in the night….at least it kept the dust down. Dorothy and I planned to get a taxi to Namobuddha today but postponed it in the hope that the weather might clear and we will get to see the mountains but it looks unlikely. I go to the ‘White Monastary’ where Chokyi Nyima is giving his saturday teachings. There are several lanquage and buddhist courses here and the gompa is full of wetern students learning about ‘Good heart”.
Last night was not good, my legs were worse than ever and I had little sleep and strange dreams…..I was being offered a soup made with severed heads!!!!! I had a peaceful breakfast in the Dragon garden and then called at Ringu Tulku’s house but he was out. I changed some money and bought some tibetan medical herbal teas from the Kailas medical centre that claim to cure everything. Later I called again at Rinpoches’s house and he was back……a very helpful interview…many questions answered …..what did I say about ‘kindness’?

Every cloud has a silver lineing………….

terry

( I should explain about the ‘old dog’ reference…..around the stupa there are several old dogs who sleep all day oblivious to the auspicious nature of the place….sometimes they stand to stretch their stiff legs…..most of the time they are eating, sleeping and pottering around. Wasting their precious lives…….teaching comes in many strange forms….!)

It is full moon tomorrow and last night it was  bright as a clear mind over the stupa….I think of the hiils behind my house where I walk sometimes when the moon is full.

The other day I sat talking to Jules  on the bench by the stupa, earlier a full marching band passed followed by folk carrying offerings, I think it was a wedding. Jules, a dutchman, lives here and  devotes his time to the kora and to date has done over 20,000……he could have walked back  to Holland! He studied Welsh at University and worked on the Mabinogion….I brought a copy of this to Nepal for Ringu Tulku! We watched the old folk struggling to walk the kora and he pointed out a  old man, almost bent double in pain supported by two sticks. He manages three or four kora a day and allways has a great beaming smile….”pain is in the mind” he says.  A monk joins us and strokes my hairy arm…..
Later I am harassed  by some drunken men demanding money and it gets a mite nasty for a while….most folk seem to think there is a bit of an ‘edge’ here sometimes.  I visit the small Kagyu gompa and talk to the  Lama there. The previous Karmapa visited here  and they  are so kind when I say that I met him. An old monk threatens to  rob me of my Karmapa’ pill’ which I carry in my neck in a gau and we fall about laughing!

The next day I caught a taxi to Yanglesho (Pharping) with Chistopher and a Australian guy from the Dragon. This is an area high up in the valley with many sacred sites. As we  walked up the road  we met a monk who is a relative of Ringu Tulku….a warm smile and  a long lingering gentle handshake. The touts  arrived as we walked up the steps to a shrine housing a rock from which a image of Tara is slowly appearing….next to a shrine with a large statute of Guru Rinpoche . More steps and we reach a small cave under prayer flags  full of butter lamps which is dedicated to Tara.  Up again and through a small gompa and we reach the famous Asura cave where  Guru Rinpoche (Padmasambhava)  cleared obstacles before establishing Dharma in Tibet….a  very special place. The roof of the cave is marked with his hand prints! While I was bathing in the warmth of the butterlamps in the cave the monk from the previous day in Bouddha arrived, burst out laughing and  pretended to steal my gau again.  We go up onto the hill above and raise prayer flags before going down  to the Vajrayogini shrine…an ancient  sacred place little changed in hundreds of years.

We find the taxi and go back down the road to a complex of ornamantal fish ponds  above which is a shrine toVishu under a overhanging cliff. To the right is a  cave where Guru Rinpoche practiced… a jealous naga sent  snakes to disturb him so he struck them with a phurba and turned them into stone  transforming them into the stalagtites that hang from the cliff above.

Yeterday I returned to Pashinipatinath to try and find a way to the caves . I climbed a small grassy hill where  many people were picnicing  and  sat on a bench in the sun looking out over the temple roofs. I was soon surrounded by a group of school children wanting to practice their english we laughed and joked, often at my expense…….if this were in a park at home  I would probably be arrested!! Soon  more folk arrived to join the  fun …………….pure delight.  I found some steps down into the Bhagmati gorge which led to the caves..despite the smelly river ( everyone was  doing their  washing upsteam!)  and the litter it was a very serene place and I sat for ages beside the cave entrance. There ware two small caves with  grills, peering inside I could see katas and statues of Tilopa and Naropa, founders of the practice lineage that I humbly attempt to follow.  Next door was  a tiny entrance into Hindu cave where a little old man  lived, he would sometimes pop out for a fag and sweep the path! Two young men came up to me and asked if I believed in God…I sad we were all brothers and they shook my hand with genuine emotion. A old sadhu stripped and bathed in the river below. Above the caves, on a ledge was another cave  where a young sadhu lived  along with lots of dogs, puppies and doves. Several young men were climbing up and calling me to join them, I had a hunch that it may be a drug scene! I sat and soaked in the incredible peaceful atmosphere of the place……..I could live here! I could die here!! The sound of tabla, harmonium and bells  came from the cave above  filling the gorge with sound and then a beautiful  voice singing devotional songs  joined in….a tear emerged from the corner of this old cynics  eye………………………just what have I done to deserve this?  As I tried to do my practice  the two young men returned and kept asking questions, I waited for the punch line but it never came……as I left someone from the cave above came down carrying several puppies  and said I was welcome to visit them any time……………..downstream I could see the ghats and terraces and the smoke of a pyre in the fading light.
I climbed back up the steps onto the hill, in the distance the valley hills were clear, I was not sure if I could make out snow mountains  or if they were clouds….pehaps it was all a dream……

I said good by to Christopher this morning, he is having his third attempt to get to Sikhim, there is still a lot of trouble along the borders . I brought some Nepali cheese and fresh croissants  and sat on ‘my’ seat in the sun…the old folk were starting their labour of love and devotion around the stupa , a smallboy played with a radio controlled jeep and a man pushed a barrow laden with fresh mushrooms. The stupa has been painted and new prayer flags and decorative banners  hung, probably for Losar (Tibetan New Year). I have eight days left and it is going to be very hard to leave….so much to do………………..and feel.

So if the skies are clear tomorrow where you live and the full moon rises in all her glory think of me…the old dog terry who just wastes this precious life eating, sleeping and pottering around …………………………

terry