myriad worlds

Well …….this is probably my last post from Bouddha, I spread my wings and fly back home tomorrow….the forecast for home is snow on saturday…..snow is auspicious in Tibet I believe. That is assuming the ‘troubles’ do not impact here. There is still fighting and killing along the borders, petrol rationing, a shortage of cooking fuel and drinking water in some areas and powercuts here everyday

It is warm again today after some more rain, the dusty lanes around the stupa are treacherous in places. I am doing some shopping, taking some photo’s and of course saying farewell to friends…….many of whom I will not meet again in this life. Perhaps the next as the connections made here are powerful. Earlier I met Ringu Tulku on the way to the stupa….a wonderful suprise and a perfect closing of this pilgrimage ‘circle’ as he smiled and shook my hand. I have mentioned his kindness but I also feel that he is absolutely ‘authentic’ in everything he does………this is rare in this world………….do you know what I mean.

I have made many good friends here, it is like that when you are travelling. Old tibetans who smile as we communicate without language, Dharma pals and stupa folk ………… the kora continues and the old dog still wastes his life ‘eating, sleeping and pottering around!’

Tomorrow I will walk, perhaps for the last time (Impermanence is a definate teaching here!) through beautiful Shechen monastary as the uniformed guard says “namaste sir”, past the eight stupas and prayer wheels and onto the waste area where the men piss against the wall, women sleep rough in piles of rubbish and children beg. Past the man with leprosy….the beggar in saffron robes….the man laying on the ground with tube from his navel to a medical bag, staring vacantly into space….the nepali punks playing hip hop……the butchers stall with flyblown hunks of meat. Ahead is the golden crown of the stupa and the hum……the hum of devotion and I will step into the fast flowing river of ‘pilgrims’ for the last time……………………….terry

The other night I sat around the big table in the Regency chatting to some folk about the ‘troubles’ on the borders. Some had got through without any problems but others had not been so lucky. One woman had been stuck for four days only to have the bus wrecked . The horse and cart she hired was vandalised and she ended up abandoning her luggage and walking 22kms with the other passengers! There is a fuel shortage and huge queues of taxis and motorcycles, some waiting 24 hours!!

Yesterday we went by taxi to Namobuddha, a very sacred pilgrimage site in the forest just over the valley rim. It is where, in a previous life, the Buddha ( then a prince) gave his body to a tigress and her starving cubs. It was great to get out of the valley smog and see fields and trees. Alas no mountains as it was very misty, however this created a lovely atmosphere. Something like a chinese painting….reminded me of Bettws y Coed back home. The last part of the journey was along a dirt track that Kieran and walked seven years ago.

We first went to Thrangu Rinpoches gompa which runs along a ridge high above the valley. Apart from the monks we were the only folk there and we were welcomed with a cup of tibetan butter tea…..definately an aquired taste!!! We sat and talked on a terrace as the mist swirled through the tree below. Later one of the monks told me that it was still very dangerous here due to the maoists. Lots of birds and there is the occassional leopard. There was lots of beautiful tibetan buildings being built as the Bouddha monastary is being moved here. Prayer flags everywhere, butterlamps offered and the site of the offering by the prince. If I ever come back to nepal I will stay here for a while but even more dangerous than the maoists is the likelyhood that I would never leave!

Our friendly taxi driver drove us down to the stupa where the princes remains are held. A small stupa surrounded by some old buildings and a very old shrine. We had some dhal bhat at one of the simple tea houses, food cooked on a clay stove, the driver thoughtfuly brought us a fork and spoon which he wiped with his hands! You enter the area from the forest through an arch ,friendly dogs and beautiful children play and there is a extremely beautiful buddha enshirined in the stupa surrounded by offerings, butter lamps, huge bells , all very ancient and well used. In a land where evermore huge buddhas are being built this proved the point that ‘small is beautiful’. All around was forest with views down to the small farms in the valley below.

One of the amusing things here is thes spellings etc. on menus and signs, you could write a book about it. As we drove through the forest we saw signs for the Namobuddha Motel! It turned out to be a teahouse by the stupa inaccessible to cars except perhaps a 4×4! A notice said ‘please do not smok’.

We drove back down the forest track pasing small homesteads, lots of goats, people comming and going and onto the main road that leads to Tibet some 80kms north. Numerous army check points, soldiers carrying guns and sandbag defences ……… the mist did not lift so no views of the mountains and it looks unlikely that I will see them now, only a brief glimpse as we drove up from India. As I have mentioned before it was my dream to end the pilgrimage looking towards Tibet and Milarepa’s land….perhaps it means that I will have to return! That the pilgrimage will not end! I now think that it is like the proverbial ‘dust on the mirror’ obscuring the truth…….it is not where Milarepa lived that is importent but the realization of his ‘mind…..encountering my ‘true face’ if that does not sound to pretentious.

Last night when I passed the stupa on the way to the Regency I saw old Choetar-la and the tiny handicapped boy in his bamboo zimmer frame doing the kora together , all smiles despite the obvious suffering…….two generations…..it brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. The boy never asks me for money but apparently supports his entire family on what he is given , a huge burden for a eight year old!

Jules tells me that Choetar-la is ” a beacon of perseverance in the eye of tremendous suffering. In spite of his constant pains because of a joint deforming illness he walks his rounds. With crutch, stick and beaning smile he would slowly do the kora. Jules quotes Choetar-la…..”This illness is my luck, it brought me here. Easy and hard are in the mind, it is neither easy or difficult. There is no difference…..” I first saw Choetar-la as I was leaving the Peace Restaurant, he was climbing the damp, dark stairs to where he lived with unbelievable difficulty.

So another day here, three to go and then I will have to leave….it is going to be hard.

terry

So…….full moon at the stupa was very interesting. I usually avoid talking like this but the energy was very strong….. a great flood of folk now all mixed up with the tourists…..beggars…touts and shops playing music and selling the Dharma……all swept along in this great torrent of devotional energy. I spent the day in the stupa attempting to practice and doing the kora….an old man sits beside me and listens to my mumbling and then a great beaming smile of approval and a thumbs up as he gently touches my leg on leaving. On the way the lama from the kagyu gompa calls out “hello” from a shop just as another in a dust mask walks towards me with outstretched hand….it is my teacher Ringu Tulku with his family heading for the kora. I thought he was in Sikhim! Full moon……..

On the way back from the Regency ( more cheap good food!!) there was a crowd around the Ajima shrine on the edge of the stupa. Ajima is one of the terrible Newar mother goddesses. All week there has been tsok (offering) puja here with a huge mound of rice covered with cakes, sweets etc., this is then given away. Tonight the shrine is open revealling the silver image of Ajima and in front is a pallequin being decorated with katas flowers and branches etc. Musicians arrive from several directions with drums, horns etc. The music is chaotic and to me, unsettling, groups of young men start pushing and shoving and things work up into a fenzy. Men carrying torches, incence burners and colourful banners etc. arrive…the image goes to the pallequin which is carried away.The all seeing eyes of the stupa looks on….. A young Nepali woman explains that it is a Newari festival but I leave as I don’t feel comfortable and it seems to conflict with my sense of a deep peace that normally pervades here.

I walk back up the dark dusty lanes to the Dragon and the gate is opened by the young man who seems to have several roles here. In the evening he wears a security uniform with cap and badge and I jokingly salute him. He shows me a picture in his magazine of a indian man hanging out of a giant alligators jaws, another of the man covered in blood and wounds…..it somehow seems in keeping with the evenings events. I had a disturbed sleep that night.

The next day the weather changed, it had rained in the night….at least it kept the dust down. Dorothy and I planned to get a taxi to Namobuddha today but postponed it in the hope that the weather might clear and we will get to see the mountains but it looks unlikely. I go to the ‘White Monastary’ where Chokyi Nyima is giving his saturday teachings. There are several lanquage and buddhist courses here and the gompa is full of wetern students learning about ‘Good heart”.
Last night was not good, my legs were worse than ever and I had little sleep and strange dreams…..I was being offered a soup made with severed heads!!!!! I had a peaceful breakfast in the Dragon garden and then called at Ringu Tulku’s house but he was out. I changed some money and bought some tibetan medical herbal teas from the Kailas medical centre that claim to cure everything. Later I called again at Rinpoches’s house and he was back……a very helpful interview…many questions answered …..what did I say about ‘kindness’?

Every cloud has a silver lineing………….

terry

( I should explain about the ‘old dog’ reference…..around the stupa there are several old dogs who sleep all day oblivious to the auspicious nature of the place….sometimes they stand to stretch their stiff legs…..most of the time they are eating, sleeping and pottering around. Wasting their precious lives…….teaching comes in many strange forms….!)

It is full moon tomorrow and last night it was  bright as a clear mind over the stupa….I think of the hiils behind my house where I walk sometimes when the moon is full.

The other day I sat talking to Jules  on the bench by the stupa, earlier a full marching band passed followed by folk carrying offerings, I think it was a wedding. Jules, a dutchman, lives here and  devotes his time to the kora and to date has done over 20,000……he could have walked back  to Holland! He studied Welsh at University and worked on the Mabinogion….I brought a copy of this to Nepal for Ringu Tulku! We watched the old folk struggling to walk the kora and he pointed out a  old man, almost bent double in pain supported by two sticks. He manages three or four kora a day and allways has a great beaming smile….”pain is in the mind” he says.  A monk joins us and strokes my hairy arm…..
Later I am harassed  by some drunken men demanding money and it gets a mite nasty for a while….most folk seem to think there is a bit of an ‘edge’ here sometimes.  I visit the small Kagyu gompa and talk to the  Lama there. The previous Karmapa visited here  and they  are so kind when I say that I met him. An old monk threatens to  rob me of my Karmapa’ pill’ which I carry in my neck in a gau and we fall about laughing!

The next day I caught a taxi to Yanglesho (Pharping) with Chistopher and a Australian guy from the Dragon. This is an area high up in the valley with many sacred sites. As we  walked up the road  we met a monk who is a relative of Ringu Tulku….a warm smile and  a long lingering gentle handshake. The touts  arrived as we walked up the steps to a shrine housing a rock from which a image of Tara is slowly appearing….next to a shrine with a large statute of Guru Rinpoche . More steps and we reach a small cave under prayer flags  full of butter lamps which is dedicated to Tara.  Up again and through a small gompa and we reach the famous Asura cave where  Guru Rinpoche (Padmasambhava)  cleared obstacles before establishing Dharma in Tibet….a  very special place. The roof of the cave is marked with his hand prints! While I was bathing in the warmth of the butterlamps in the cave the monk from the previous day in Bouddha arrived, burst out laughing and  pretended to steal my gau again.  We go up onto the hill above and raise prayer flags before going down  to the Vajrayogini shrine…an ancient  sacred place little changed in hundreds of years.

We find the taxi and go back down the road to a complex of ornamantal fish ponds  above which is a shrine toVishu under a overhanging cliff. To the right is a  cave where Guru Rinpoche practiced… a jealous naga sent  snakes to disturb him so he struck them with a phurba and turned them into stone  transforming them into the stalagtites that hang from the cliff above.

Yeterday I returned to Pashinipatinath to try and find a way to the caves . I climbed a small grassy hill where  many people were picnicing  and  sat on a bench in the sun looking out over the temple roofs. I was soon surrounded by a group of school children wanting to practice their english we laughed and joked, often at my expense…….if this were in a park at home  I would probably be arrested!! Soon  more folk arrived to join the  fun …………….pure delight.  I found some steps down into the Bhagmati gorge which led to the caves..despite the smelly river ( everyone was  doing their  washing upsteam!)  and the litter it was a very serene place and I sat for ages beside the cave entrance. There ware two small caves with  grills, peering inside I could see katas and statues of Tilopa and Naropa, founders of the practice lineage that I humbly attempt to follow.  Next door was  a tiny entrance into Hindu cave where a little old man  lived, he would sometimes pop out for a fag and sweep the path! Two young men came up to me and asked if I believed in God…I sad we were all brothers and they shook my hand with genuine emotion. A old sadhu stripped and bathed in the river below. Above the caves, on a ledge was another cave  where a young sadhu lived  along with lots of dogs, puppies and doves. Several young men were climbing up and calling me to join them, I had a hunch that it may be a drug scene! I sat and soaked in the incredible peaceful atmosphere of the place……..I could live here! I could die here!! The sound of tabla, harmonium and bells  came from the cave above  filling the gorge with sound and then a beautiful  voice singing devotional songs  joined in….a tear emerged from the corner of this old cynics  eye………………………just what have I done to deserve this?  As I tried to do my practice  the two young men returned and kept asking questions, I waited for the punch line but it never came……as I left someone from the cave above came down carrying several puppies  and said I was welcome to visit them any time……………..downstream I could see the ghats and terraces and the smoke of a pyre in the fading light.
I climbed back up the steps onto the hill, in the distance the valley hills were clear, I was not sure if I could make out snow mountains  or if they were clouds….pehaps it was all a dream……

I said good by to Christopher this morning, he is having his third attempt to get to Sikhim, there is still a lot of trouble along the borders . I brought some Nepali cheese and fresh croissants  and sat on ‘my’ seat in the sun…the old folk were starting their labour of love and devotion around the stupa , a smallboy played with a radio controlled jeep and a man pushed a barrow laden with fresh mushrooms. The stupa has been painted and new prayer flags and decorative banners  hung, probably for Losar (Tibetan New Year). I have eight days left and it is going to be very hard to leave….so much to do………………..and feel.

So if the skies are clear tomorrow where you live and the full moon rises in all her glory think of me…the old dog terry who just wastes this precious life eating, sleeping and pottering around …………………………

terry

Not a good night last night I had a flask of tongba in the Double Dorje last night, it comes in a wooden jar packed full of fermented millet, you pour boiling water over it and drink it through a metal straw topping it up from a huge chinese flask…someting like warm wine…nice!. I thought I would sleep like a log but instead……stange dreams…little sleep and that tooth! Looks like a abcess….I just hope the antibiotics keep a lid on things until I get home…root canal work here does not bear thinking about….! Anyway….’mustn’t grumble’!

I am tired, my legs are sore again after a good few days and I feel a mite lost, worrying about the tooth I guess, so I decide to walk down to Pashupatinath and the wooded hill above. I wander down the back lanes, shake of a bloke selling drugs and stumble upon a group of large colourful tents, in each one there is a wedding taking place….and I left my camera behind!

I cross the footbridge and start to climb the temple steps to the woods but I am stopped by a policeman wanting money so I stroll along the Bagmati which is literally an open sewer but holy also….bathe here and you have release from the cycle of rebirth…..just like the Ganges. I think it must give a quick release from this life also!!!! I work my way up through the woods and along the path that ends on the terraces above the ghats. Courting couples sitting in the shade..Nepali men strolling, holding hands…gangs of scary monkeys run riot through the trees and along the terrace walls.

I sit for a while in the sun, a good vantage point to look into the inner temple precincts. Opposite there is a dilapidated white building hanging over the river….a hospice for those who come to die. The ghats below are the ones used by royalty and young children wade in the filthy water panning the gravel….pilgrims on the temple terrace above toss coins and the children fight and scramble like monkeys. The breeze wafts smoke from the burning pyres over me…it certainly helps focus the mind…..impermanace….this fleeting life..! A young man in white with shaved head, probably the oldest son, pushes charred and blackened human body parts into the flames….a beautiful deep sound of a bell rings out over the rooftops. There is a huge bell by the stupa and last night I watched an old monk walk around inside it bashing the side with his stick
I climb the steps up into the complex of tombs and temples…a old man welcomes me to Nepal..he.knows all about Northern Ireland and Wales. A gruff looking soldier asks where I am from, thinking he may ask for a ‘ticket’ I smile, say “namaste” and amble on. On the steps there is a ornamental hole in the wall and young girls holding their hands in prayer close their eyes and walk towards it…if their hands enter the hole everyone cheers. A wild looking sadhu is building a bamboo shelter and fire pit on the edge of the steps and below a old sadhu covered in ash is handing out little packages to a group of young men. As I pass they beckon saying “ganga, ganga” …..I shout back “bom shankar” and they all collapse laughing…even the sadhu who calls back “bom shankar” in return……..laugh and the world laughs with you! The old scoundrel sadhus who tout for a fee for a photo are surrounded by a large group ao Japanese tourists…business looks good.

I sit for a while by the bridge and joke and flirt with the women trying to sell me bracelets etc., they laugh and home in on another group of tourists. I make my way back to Boudha along the dusty lanes flanked by endless piles of rubbish, houses sit crumbling beside fetid pools…abandoned paddies I guess? Dogs…goats..and children with catapults…teenagers playing with their mobiles. In amoungst this I pass english and music schools …..the’Brainy Shine Acadamy, a english medium school’ and others with quotes from Francis Bacon painted on the walls….another says ‘the desire for dicipline is the beginning of wisdom’!

In the distance I can see the golden spire of the stupa covered with prayer flags……..

terry

Woke this morning with another cold starting and my legs painful after the long walk yesterday. It is getting colder now and this morning there was a thick mist enveloping the stupa. A fight started as two burley men attacked a beggar, soldiers with big batons and the stupa police looked on. I went to the Double Dorje early as I was planning to attend te saturday teachings by Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche. Had a good breakfast of real porridge with bananas, toasted tibetan bread with jam and a ginger tea ( a glass half full with fresh ginger ) and read the news in the Himalayan paper. Incredibly I could hear bagpipes and a drum ……….a marching band passed through the mist in national dress…..I think they were Tamangs. The teachings were cancelled so I walked around the stupa…..piles of juniper and incence , the smoke merging with the mist. Proud Tibetan men in cowboy boots and leather jackets , mala in hand….ancient women being helped by their children……men from Mustang with red cords braided into their jet black hair, chubas and worn out nike trainers….curious tourists……a young boy in a bamboo zimmer frame…….colourful Tibetan women in striped aprons and torquoise jewlery…a teenage girl texting with her mobile phone and repeatimg Om Mani Padme Hum……and the hum……………in one of the side streets there were lepers begging, filty rags covering their sores and a man who everyday sits unmoving with a tube from his navel to a medical bag….

I returned later and sat for a while in the sun watching the parade….a man next to me asked me where I was from and then asked about the rules of rugby…he was listening to BBC world service. I know I am big and from Wales but I know nothing about rugby!!! He had been tuning in to the BBC for a couple of years trying to learn english and there I was with my tibetan phrase book knowing nothing of their language…………..Harry and John ( from the pilgrimage) passed on the Kora so I joined them for lunch at the ‘New Orleans’, an upmarket ( or at least they thought they were) cafe by the stupa. Jazz playing, stroppy waiters who would say ”hello man” and overcharge….bad modern art prints……a western toilet with toilet paper……..expensive, not very exciting attempt at a sort of european tibetan fusion!! We sat in the garden and swapped Dharma stories for a hour or so. Nice to relax with friends but give me the old dark mo mo houses any day. The snake charmers are in town with their cobras in waven baskets…the men look shifty and one spots me and lifts the snake towards me ….I move on. As I write dusk is falling on the stupa, the mist has finally lifted….people are sitting on the terraces which are now draped in fairy lights and the endless flow of pilgrims do the kora, when I leave here onto he stupa it is like stepping into a river, no choice but to go with the flow. Tonight I will try the Yak , good cheap tibetan food I am told reliably. The reason for the fairy lights is that it is Nepali new year, there was some kind of festival on the fooball ground with bands etc. but I missed it. Bed by 8 and up at 11…sunday lie in…still full of cold. There is a total transport strike today, the main road which is normaly full of dust and fumes is almost pleasant. A taxi and a couple of rickshaws with a western woman are surrounded by men but it looks fairly calm.  The Yak was a real find…delicious veggie mo mo’s, big plate of fried rice , another big plate  of mala tofu and free green tea in a huge chinese flask….all for about a pound!!! The cook came out to see me and practice his english, offered a pair of chopsticks (which he wiped with his hand!!!) my kind of place…friendly honest food and service …what a contrast to the New Orleans……..another day at the stupa.

terry

I have been thinking of home today…pure clean water… mountains clear of smog…rain….homemade bread and a good strong cheese…..a plastic bag on the mountain would cause an outrage! The contrast could not be greater and it is strange how I feel so at home in both places.

I am staying in Boudha for a couple of weeks, a tibetan community on the edge of Kathmandu. The focus is the huge stupa which is circled by sometimes hundreds of devout pilgrims doing the kora. It feels like a powerhouse continualy recharged by the devotion of the Tibetans….it is very humbling and can bring a tear to the eye of the big fella!!!! I am staying at the Dragon guest house which is clean, secure and cheap. I have a small room for 300 rupees a night ( just over 2 pounds !!) sharing a shower etc. Nice friendly family from Mustang and a good cafe. I normally eat in the cheap Tibetan places..Double Dorje,Bir and the Peace…the food is good, cheap and wholesome….I think I may well turn into a mo mo! I spend some time each day around the stupa, all life is here and some times it comes to me…many laughs, often at the expence of the big fella from Wales!!! There is a dark side though…a couple of days ago a frenchman in the next room was surrounded by seven men with knives on a narrow path by the soup kitchen, not far from Rinpoches house. He escaped with a few cuts, a few years ago a man was put in hospital for months. It is the cold season and I guess people are desparate. I walked up this dark stretch of path only a hour later with my life savings and passport etc…..now I go through Shechen monastary which has the bonus of passing eight stupas dedicated to the places we visited on the pilgimage.

Yesterday I went back to Swayambhunath the monkey temple. So named because of the thousands of yobbo monkey’s who swarm all over the place…as I sat on the terrace in the early morning mist a couple of monkeys sidled along the railing and began to enthusiastically scratch their balls in front of me!!! I explored the old gompa on Manjushri Hill and in the back I found a group of children singing ‘twinkle twinkle little star’!! It is beautiful here and I am one of the few visitors so am the focus for all the touts and beggars…assertivenes is the name of the game here. I give the huge bell a ring and work my way down the steep 365 steps aaand make my way to Benchen monastary.

I stayed here with my son seven years ago, it was his 21st birthday, and had teachings from Tenga Rinpoche, a truly beautiful man. I hoped this time to meet Sangie Nyenpa Rinpoche, incredibly he was there and I was able to have a blessing, he said he would say a prayer for me. So much is written about these Lamas but believe me some of them are extraordinary.

I hobbled down to Thamel hardly believing my good fortune. Had real coffee and cake in the legendary Pumpernickel, more chocolate cake and apple muffins in the various german bakers….a very welcome change from mo mo’s and tukpa! Two men unfurl a banner and suddenly dozens put on maoist caps and it is demonstration! Found the Tibetan Bookshop… a big mistake…I could live there. Back home to the Dragon…brought some bottled water called Aqualia…says it is ‘pure like a baby’s heart’!!

Today I felt much better so I got a taxi up to Phulahari, the seat of Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche. I met the last one in 1973 when the 16th Karmapa came to London. My son and I had a blessing from the the new tulku who was a young boy in 2000 and now I was waiting outside his house being greeted by a very intimidating Tibetan mastiff…at least his tail was wagging!! I was shown in and there was this young man who sat like rock…like I said above sometimes you have no doubt. I offerd a kata and recieved a blessing cord. He said I could take a photo but incredibly my film ran out!!!! I ws shown the stupa dedicated to the previous Jamgon Kongtrul, it is absolutely stunning. Phulahari is set on a forrested ridge above the valley, the air is clean and as the morning mist starts to clear I can see Boudha stupa and the surrounding mountains dotted with gompas. The grounds are beautfully kept (no plastic!) with mature trees and shrubs. Marble and stone paths lead one to a fish pond, stupas and the temple which is covered in ornate frescos. I feel blessed and have been!!!!

I follow a narrow path through the forrest to Kopan monastary, the seat of Lama Zopa. It is set on top of a hill and I take time for rest and lunch. There is a beautiful garden set around a vey ornate stupa with fountains and lawns…a long way from the dust and smog of the valley. A large bird of prey circles up from the valley as I make my way down through the endless lanes full of shops, the inevitable laughs and stare asd the big bald fat man hobbles by…..namaste brings huge grins in return and children call out “hello hello” from the rooftops. I meet a lovely man, I think he is russian or jewish, big grey beard and a even bigger smile walking with crowd of children…I first met him at the stupa giving out leaflets about the plight of the mentally ill here. I get lost in the back lanes as I walk with a young school girl practicing her english…I wish I could talk to them because everyone has a story I finally find the stupa, home at last.

terry